Self-reconciliation means to resolve and understand things through our own personal lens. We do it in our daily transactions without even realizing it is occurring. It impacts how we talk, what we talk about, what we eat, where we will go and not go, and what we believe or choose to disbelieve. In a useful way, self-reconciliation gives us an anchor, a sense of security, and serves as a guide post amidst an ever changing world. Self-reconciliation is an octopus like behavior. It is not a one handed bandit. We tend to self-reconcile in one or more of the eight domains of life – education, health, finances, recreation, environment, spirituality, personal development, and family/friends. In reality, self-reconciliation, using ourselves as a barometer of what is good and bad, helps us to navigate toward and away from people, places, and things.

Self-reconciliation is our default state of existence which we must earnestly work against, since it is often a recipe for disaster. This default state of existence has a tendency to lead us to a narrow frame of reference, which leaves us with a closed view of life’s true potential. Often if it is not something we have experienced, or know about, we consider it out of the realm of possibility and comfortability. Thus, limiting what we allow ourselves, and others, to experience and tolerate. Self-reconciliation can be a benefit if our next inclination or thought is to still be inclusive of people, places, and things that may be naturally foreign to us.

Reluctantly, we must recognize that self-reconciliation is the universal common thread to all that is wrong in ourselves, and our society. Sadly, all crimes are committed with the disposition that I am more important than others, and doing things at others expense is OK. A person is only reconciling against themselves and not others. Examples of crimes are aiding & abetting, assault/battery, drug usage/possession/manufacturing/distribution, burglary /theft, arson, bribery, child abandonment/abuse, child pornography, conspiracy, fraud, cyber bullying, domestic violence, DUI/DWI, embezzlement, extortion, forgery, harassment, hate crimes, indecent exposure, identity theft, kidnapping, money laundering, murder, perjury, prostitution, rape, robbery, sexual assault, shoplifting, stalking, and vandalism.

Racism, sexism, discrimination and the like are all powered by self-reconciliation. Self-reconciliation is the fuel of jealousy and truly makes us envious of others. However, it really makes us jealous and envious of ourselves, because unbeknownst to ourselves, we have accepted that we cannot have what we perceive others have. We have given up, even though we are extending an enormous amount of energy – all be it negative.  We are actually fighting a losing and destructive fight – against ourselves. Self-reconciliation epitomizes the saying “you are the only person standing in your way” – as your world view either gets you to appreciate the diversity of your lived experience or allows you to become disenchanted and disheartened by it.

Self-reconciliation is another way of defining selfishness and discrimination.   We must endeavor to live a life that acknowledges through our words, actions, and deeds that we understand we are the center of our own existence – but not the center of all existence. Furthermore, we are given the opportunity to live another day to broaden, not sharpen, our horizons. We must seek to learn about the much we do not know and work to see the world through a brighter and hopeful lens, all the while accepting the little we actually do know.

Dr. Nathaniel J. Williams – – January 11, 2015